So you’ve seen his profile pics, chatted him up about the basics, and you think he might be the one. First thing first though, you’ll need to meet in person to make sure the spark really ignites. Read these 3 tips on how to show the best version of you on your first date and avoid any potential disappointment.
Be one with...one
I’m sure you’ve heard it from multiple sources- your mom, your BFF, or the latest IG post on quotespersation- but they’re right. You have to be comfortable with yourself before you can be part of a successful relationship. Instead of freaking out about the possibility of being stood up, make a plan that doesn’t have to involve him. Think about what you might order, where you might go after dinner. Of course, you want him to show up, but if he doesn’t (or if he doesn’t show up as the guy you thought he would be) remember you are fully capable of enjoying an evening with yourself.
If all goes well in terms of arrival, maintain your comfort with yourself throughout the date. Confidence is the true mark of beauty and when you’re comfortable with your personal value, you unconsciously arouse the attraction and curiosity of your date. Don’t be afraid to offer contrary opinions or share stories of success or embarrassment- you aren’t looking for his approval, you’re just looking for his company.
Silence is golden
It can also be super awkward. It’s not just first dates though, humans are social beings and have a natural tendency whenever we are meeting someone for the first time to fill the silence in order to make the other person comfortable. In reality though, it’s actually a sign of discomfort.
Sometimes silences on a first date are the result of people being scared about finding the right words, oversharing, or saying something otherwise regrettable, but this anxiety can be avoided. Simply embrace the ________. If you don’t know what to say, stop talking. Think of something? Great, you may resume. It’s that easy.
Imagine of hanging out with your best friend. Are you guys talking the whole time? Maybe, but chances are no. You might be texting or watching TV, or just sitting around each other in silence, but you don’t really notice because you are comfortable with each other. Try to adopt that sort of relaxed attitude on your date. You are just two people, hanging out.
You don't know me!
This sounds obvious, but profiles are not people. Even if your date is 100% honest with the content of his profile and how he has represented himself to you thus far, this information is only a part of him. A very carefully curated selection of data shared with you because he wants you to like him. I’m sure there are particular facts about yourself you wouldn't dream about including in your profile or first conversation. Accept in advance that this is the same for him.
You get to truly know a person through time and shared experience. Sure, online dating allows us to narrow down or speed up the process sometimes but you have to put in the follow-up work. Don’t be so quick to open your book fully either, take some time to build trust. If he’s worth a second date, you guys will need something to talk about then too.
Have some tips to share? Please let us know in the comments.
