If you think dating a single man is difficult, try dating a single dad. While it is definitely a challenge to date a man who has children to take care of, it's hardly impossible to get the kids to warm up to the idea of having a woman other than their mother date their dad.
Sure, it takes a lot more effort to make the kids understand, but it's worth all the effort if you think he is the one. It is a delicate situation but one that can be handled with some finesse, planning, and a whole lot of love.
Wait
Determine if the relationship will lead to something emotionally fulfilling. That means waiting until you have explored every corner of each other's lives that matters.
There's no telling how long your relationship will last, but stability is important for the children's wellbeing so you need to make sure you can help with providing it even if you don't marry their dad just yet.
Even if you think you're ready to meet the kids, the dad is the best judge of this so don't press him into arranging a meeting with them.
Respect ground rules
While you may feel that as a woman, you are confident in being able to soften the kids up to the idea of you being their stepmother, your boyfriend has the better ability to gauge how his kids might feel.
He may have set ground rules for you to follow regarding meeting with the kids, so make sure you take them to heart so you'll have a good chance of getting a meeting with them.
Age
Think of how old the kids are. Younger kids will find that another woman in their father's life is a hard pill to swallow, they may even take their mother's side absolutely. Older kids warm up to the idea easier, but that isn't to say that it's guaranteed. If he's got younger kids, it is better to wait until they are older before hoping to meet them. It all depends on how the father feels.
In some special cases, such as if your boyfriend's kids have never met their mother and he feels that they need a mother figure in their life. If this is the case, you may be welcomed more easily by the children.
Location of the meeting
Think carefully about the location of the meeting. It's advisable to meet your boyfriend's kids in a public place, rather than at their home so it doesn't seem like you're invading the space of where their mother is supposed to be.
Try arranging a meeting at a park, a zoo, or a fair, to help them relax and not feel like the focus is meeting their "new mommy". Discuss this with your boyfriend and collaborate on the best location for the big meet and greet.
Don't rush it
While this may already be obvious to some, it can't be stressed enough how important it is for kids to have a stable environment while they're growing up. A new person in their father's lives is a big step in a different direction. While some kids may understand easily, others take a while before they even start talking to you. Don't force interactions and always keep their feelings in mind.
Follow through
Once you've successfully had a meeting with the kids, include them as often as you can in activities with their dad. Make them feel how important they are to you by giving gifts, taking them out often, and being with them as much as possible.
Dating a single father is a challenge, but is far from insurmountable. It can be an emotionally rewarding experience to have his kids be close with you, so take these tips in mind for a better chance at developing a relationship with his children.
Have you ever dated a single dad? How did you get the kids to warm up to you? Share your stories in the comments below!
