While your first few months were sizzling hot scenes out of a romance movie, it is not uncommon for romance to calm down a bit as time passes by. That is perfectly fine. Some men know how to keep it consistent while others may overlook the need to keep the embers burning.
With a little nudge of encouragement, however, you can get your man to become the Giacomo Casanova (minus the womanizing) that he used to be, even when you're at the "comfortable" phase where you either one of you don't mind farting loud in the same room your partner is in.
Find the best time to say it
Make sure that you open up the topic when he is calm and relaxed. It is difficult to talk to men about emotional matters when they are preoccupied or stressed out from work. If you choose to say it at the wrong time, you risk sounding like you're attacking him about his shortcomings.
Set up a special date where the both of you are relaxed and not busy. This gives him an idea of what you want and you will have planted the seed of thought in his mind.
Understand why
A large part of human behavior is determined by upbringing. If he grew up in an environment where expressing love towards one another is normal, then he is likely to be a romantic. If not, you can expect him to be not as sweet as you like him to be.
If you know your man's family history, then you'll have some clues on what to expect. Just because he was raised differently, it doesn't mean he's a lost cause. There are plenty of men out there who aren't as romantic but are exceptionally good people. If you can, do your best to bring that positive change in him.
Tell him how valuable it is
Communication is extremely important in this case. He won't know that something is wrong if you don't tell him, so do your best to be clear about your feelings. Avoid sounding accusatory by telling him how you feel instead of what you think, so phrase it like this: "I feel as if this relationship needs a bit more romance. I want us to go on strolls in the park or maybe even a hike."
Continue to give him options so he knows what kind of activities to think about. Men are analytical creatures, so lay out all the elements that will help him think of more romantic outings for you both. And above all, don't phrase it as though it is his fault or you risk sparking an argument.
Keep it light
Think of friendly challenges that appeal to his manly, competitive side. Try to see if he can out--romance you within a set timeframe. For example, if he is able to take you out on a couple of romantic dates every month, you can reward him by allowing him to go on a LAN party with his gaming buddies.
You can also make your own coupons with each one specifying the date you want to go out on. For every one of your tickets that he fulfills, you must also take him to his favorite activities written on his coupons.
Don't rush
Behavioral changes take time to develop, so don't rush your boyfriend into changing overnight. Be patient and let him figure things out in his own pace. Constantly show him by example what sort of romantic dates you'd like to go on and ensure that you keep talking to him so he stays motivated.
With the right attitude and approach, you can turn the relationship from bland to vibrant. Just be patient and always communicate.
How did you overcome a man who isn't the romantic type? Share your stories in the comments below!
