Preserving your sense of individuality and independence can be challenging when you're trying to build a new relationship. If your boyfriend exhibits a free-spirited or independent behavior, and it's something that you're not quite used to, you have to consider the reality that independence is extremely important for some people.
A guy who hasn't been in any long-term commitment, especially, may have a hard time taking his independence down a notch. He will hold on to his independence and carefree lifestyle the same way a baby would cling to its mother. And he might feel intimidated the moment he feels like things with you are getting too close foo fast.
So, how do you deal with a guy who sees himself more as an individual rather than your boyfriend?
Respect his need for personal space
An independent guy will want to get as much personal space as he can. He'll want to have his alone time, so you need to respect that.
Maybe he likes to spend hours playing video games when he's stressed out, or maybe he goes on a boy's night out with his friends at least twice a month.
Unless he's doing something that can harm his well-being or is against the law, just leave him be. Relax and let him enjoy his time. Try your best to avoid criticizing how he chooses to unwind.
Find a common ground
While you may have different personalities, surely you can find some things that you are both interested in. If you both enjoy spending time outdoors, go on an adventure! If you both like brain stimulating activities, play board games or solve puzzles together.
It's nice to adopt some of his hobbies, but don't try to pick up on all of it. It'll only lead to resentment because you won't have time to do something for yourself.
Have rules, but don't be too strict
Every relationship has its own set of rules. However, if you're dating a guy who values his independence, establishing strict rules might only hurt the relationship. It'll make him feel tied down. The moment he feels that his independence is threatened, he'll be running out the door.
If he crosses a line, don't threaten him with punishments. Instead, show him what he'll be missing out on if he loses you.
Choose your battles
You must also learn to choose your battles. If he shows up on a date ## minutes late, don't bite his head off right away. There might be a good reason why he was late. Unless it was something that could negatively affect your relationship, just let it slide. Don't let the petty things escalate.
Don't be too needy
Your free-spirited boyfriend may be ready to meet your emotional and physical needs, but it's not a go sign for you to be needy and demanding. Don't expect him to cater to all your needs. It's unfair considering that he has his own needs too.
When you have bad days, it's okay to vent out to him sometimes, but not all the time. Just because your boyfriend is willing to listen to you, it doesn't mean that you should treat him like a sounding board. You can opt to talk to some of your friends from time to time and tell them about your problems.
So, when you find yourself in a relationship with an independent, free-spirited guy, understand that you cannot fully tame him. What you can do instead is encourage him to make you a part of his carefree life.
Any other suggestions for dealing with independent men? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!
