For a single parent, getting back into the dating scene can be dreadful and overwhelming. How is he going to take it? How are you going to juggle your time between your love life and your family life? If he also has kids, is he going to treat your kids like his own? Are your kids, or his kids, going to be okay with your relationship?
Finding someone that you are compatible with is not easy, but it becomes even more complicated when there are kids involved. However, getting into a new relationship when you both have kids is possible. You just have to know how to make it work. To help you out are some tips on how to.
Gauge the relationship.
Take the first step of planning your future together by evaluating your relationship. Know if it is serious and that you are both in it for the long run. Is he a responsible parent to his children? Does he treat you and your kids with respect, and you to him and his children? Do you all get along well? Do you think you can eventually become one family?
Find out if he envisions a future with the two of together.
Understanding each other's needs and knowing each other's feelings are keys to start working on your future together. Talk to each other openly and find out if he sees a future together with you and your kids. Get him into a thoughtful conversation about your relationship and slowly get into the topic of asking him how he sees the two of you and your kids, years from now.
Get your kids in the loop.
Never lie to your children. You should both talk to your kids and tell them about your relationship, but wait for the right time to do so. You can't drop the bomb if you've just started dating a couple of days ago.
Once you're sure about the relationship, let your kids know what your future plans are and ask them about their opinions. If they try to give you advice, be open to it. Most importantly, make your kids feel that you respect them and that you value their opinions. They may not be comfortable about their parent being in a new relationship, but that doesn't mean you should shut them out. If you work on it harder, they will eventually learn to accept the situation.
Set some rules.
Set a few rules between you and him. For example, set a schedule for when he can stay over at your house, or when you can stay over at his. Remember to involve your kids as well. Include them in your plans and make them aware of the arrangements that you and your partner have made. If you're living together, be sure to set a few rules that will help all of you work harmoniously in one household. It is also important that you let the kids know about these rules to avoid any conflict.
Spend time as a family.
Since the both of you have kids, it's important that you all spend time together so that you can create a bond and closeness as a family. Doing activities together will help improve your relationship, but also be sure that your kids are comfortable with this.
If his kids are into sports, don't sign your kids up for the same sport right away. They might not want to get involved at first so it's better not to force it immediately. Let your kids get to know each other too so they can find a common interest. That's the first step to becoming a real family.
Don't be afraid to get into a relationship again. If you wait too long, you might miss out on someone who will love you and your children unconditionally. However, don't enter a relationship because you are lonely. Be sure that you both have potential to become good parents to your children.
What are your opinions on dating as single parents? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
