When you're in a new relationship, you tend to blind yourself from any signs that the person could be wrong for you. As much as possible, you want this relationship to be perfect. But while it's normal for people to have flaws, some have just more serious flaws than others. These flaws that you avoid to acknowledge may be early signs of abuse in your relationship.
To help you out are some tell-tale signs of an abuser.
Criticism and embarrassment.
While it may be normal for a person to criticize another, you will know he's being out of line when all he does is criticize your actions. He makes you feel that everything you do is wrong, and worse, he even criticizes you in front of other people, not caring if you get embarrassed. He won't listen to your opinions because for him, they're insignificant.
If being with him has robbed you off of your self-esteem, self-confidence, and freedom of expression, you might want to think twice about letting the relationship go further.
Excessive jealousy.
It's cute when your man gets jealous sometimes, but when he's being excessively jealous and possessive all the time, even if you're not giving him any reason to be, that can be a sign of a potentially abusive person.
When he starts setting limits on your contact with family or friends, you have to see that as a red flag. A guy who loves you and trusts you will never do such thing, unless being in contact with these people can potentially harm your well-being.
If you tolerate this excessive jealousy and possessiveness, you're allowing him to control you and your life. Before you know it, you won't be able to do anything at all without his approval.
Emotional blackmail.
Emotional blackmail happens when he controls you by using fear. He intimidates you, makes you feel worthless, and makes you believe that you're too lucky to be with him. Whenever you do something that does not please him, he threatens to leave you.
Know that a person who engages in emotional blackmail never has your best interest at heart. He doesn't care about how you feel. He only cares about what he can get from you.
Violence.
If he hits you, even just once, that's already a sign of abuse. Someone who is capable of hurting you once is capable of doing it again. Just because you've committed a mistake, it doesn't give him the right to hurt you physically.
If he hits you when he's sober, think of what he can do to you when he's under the influence of alcohol. So, don't even bother defending him to your friends and family when they ask about where you get your bruises. Know that anyone who exhibits violence in a relationship is never worth it.
Verbal violence.
Violence doesn't only occur through hitting someone physically. It can also be done verbally, which hurts more than the physical form as it can kill a person from the inside. Words can change your view of yourself, others, and the world. Bruises may fade away, but words will stick forever.
When he insults you, calls you names, curses at you, or yells at you, these are signs of verbal violence. When he reminds you of every single mistake you've ever done, or attempts to make you feel that you are a worthless human being, you are already being verbally abused. Get out as early as you can before your abusive relationship destroys you.
Don't ignore the signs. If you tolerate these, you'll end up in a long-term abusive relationship and it won't be easy to get out of it. Know that no one deserves to be trapped in an unhappy relationship. So, keep your eyes open to the warning signs.
What other relationship red flags do you know of? Leave your comments below!
