It's not always black and white when it comes to dating. She says she's into you, but leaves herself open to advances from other men. He says he'll call, but only does so two days later. She doesn't turn up for the date but shows up for the next one. When you're together, she spaces out and seems more interested in the salt and pepper shakers on the table. Confusing, isn't it?
Sadly, dating is rife with this kind of confusion. What are you to him? A friend, a fling, or something more? If you are single man or woman actively looking for a serious relationship, it's likely that you've encountered a person who sends you mixed messages. Thankfully, it isn't too hard to decode these signals. You can take some steps to et the answers from your ambiguously-intentioned date. Here's how.
Be on the outside looking in
It's easy to get caught up in a dating situation and make poor judgment calls. Don't be blinded by your hopes of what is possible and look at reality instead. Detach yourself from your longings and look at the relationship objectively. Set aside your feelings and act as though you are a stranger looking at what is happening and decide from there.
Believe what you are told but not everything
Listen to what your date says. If she says that she is tired of relationships or if he is clearly not emotionally available, then take it in stride. Just because your date mentions his plans for the future with you it doesn't mean that they are sincere.
The goal here is to save yourself from grief, so take everything your date says with a grain of salt, and don't hold them to every single thing they say. People often get caught up in the moment and say things they don't mean so be careful what you believe. Only after sharing a number of different experiences over time will you be able to see a pattern.
Take it slow
It takes time to know people enough to understand how they communicate. Instead of emotionally investing in the person right away, step back and observe them. The more you observe the relationship objectively, the better your chances are at understanding the other person's real intentions and avoiding disaster.
Be clear
People often give off mixed signals because you are giving mixed signals as well. Be clear with your intentions, know what you want, and express your desires properly.
Seek the right advice
It helps to have good friends of the opposite sex. That way, you will have someone who can give you proper insight on the situation. Don't make theories with your girlfriends if you want to understand what the guy really wants. Ask a male friend you've never been intimate with instead since he is more likely to give you an accurate perspective of things.
Just ask
There is no harm in asking your date directly if you are getting confusing messages, ask clear questions and demand for clear answers. If your date answers sincerely and apologizes, there is a good chance that you are dealing with someone who can be a good partner. If you get defensive answers, guilt tripping, and any other bad attitude, you should move on and find someone more deserving of your time and energy.
Choose
You always have the right to choose and be with someone who can reciprocate your love. If you get mixed messages from your date, she is probably unavailable and that's fine. Just move on if your interaction together is merely based on mixed messages and ambiguity. You have the right to continue searching for someone who is just as excited about being with you as you are about being with them.
In the end, objectivity and patience is your best weapon against mixed messages. Take it slow and you'll end up with a clearer perspective of the whole relationship.
How do you deal with mixed messages? Share some of your advice in the comments below!
