Why and how sex gets better in your 30’s

In your 20s, sex is fine. If you’re lucky it’s a little more than fine, but you’re still trying to figure things out. Read on to find out some major differences between sex in your 20’s and sex in your 30’s and exactly what you have to look forward to.

You know your body

Sure we were born with our bodies, but it takes some serious time and effort to truly get to know them. Remember the first time you had an orgasm? Chances are it either took a lot of persistence, or you got super lucky. This is why most girls have their first orgasm through masterbation- when we aren’t under the pressure of time or expectations.

Many women in their 20’s also unfortunately lack confidence when it comes to body image. They are under a pressure from media, guys, and themselves and threatened with the notion that gravity will start kicking in soon, so you better work towards achieveing your ideal boy now, while you stlll can. This insecurity plays a huge factor in the quality of sex you are having. If you are worried about how much your stomach jiggles when he’s deep thrusting, you’re not going to be able to enter a truly connected and pleasure enabling state.

Contrary to what pornos and impatient horny 20 somethings will lead you to believe, there is not a magic button to be found. Knowing your body makes for better sex and this takes time. Experience makes for better sex. Confidence makes for better sex. And lastly, learning what love is, or at least genuine emotional connection, makes for better sex. About those pornos...

Porn can serves its purpose, but it is not reality

You’d be surprised to find out how many people don’t realize this and spend a good portion of their lives trying to achieve the same false pleasure that actors are paid to convince us that they are experiencing. Many of us caught a glimpse of our first porn as teenagers, and hopefully as with most things in life, the meaning and purpose of porn has evolved since then. It’s truly a shame the role that porn has on manipulating young and impressionable minds into thinking that this is what sex is supposed to be.

Don’t get me wrong, porn can inspire and excite, and occasionally give us a novel idea, but for the most part, it’s impractical and almost uniformly negates the emotional component of sex. Furthermore, porn is an entertainment business, designed to give us as much pleasure as quickly as possible, but real sex typically doesn’t involve an orgasm within three minutes and when it does it’s usually one-sided and followed by more disappointment than satisfaction.

You know your boundaries and aren’t afraid to state them

As you figure out what feels good, you also start to figure out what doesn’t. Different sexual experiences are going to feel different depending on your partner, that’s for sure, but there are also things that you come to find out just don’t work for you.

Again, these can change throughout a lifetime, but it stands that if you are not comfortable with something, either physically or emotionally, it isn’t going to end well for your your your partner. The best way to avoid this unhappy ending is by speaking up. If your partner is as mature and confident as you are, chances he will be turned on by the fact that you know what you want and more than willing to adjust accordingly.

So what about your 40’s, and 50’s...and beyond?

Most people will agree that everyone’s sexual peak comes at different times, and it isn’t all biological, a lot of it is within our control. Just because sex gets better in your 30’s is doesn’t mean it’s all downhill after that. Our life experiences aren’t taken away from us and as long as we continue to listen and respond to our bodies, we should continue to experience positive sexual growth.